Just like many first time mom's, I did what my friends did, I went to the doctor. It was OK. He spent about 10 minutes with me at each visit. I knew though that if I wanted my questions answered I would have to look else where. I spent much of my time reading every book and magazine I could find on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and parenting. I took a water exercise class, and a childbirth class. During the birth class the instructor mentioned midwives. My ears perked up. Midwives? Who are they, where are they? But it was too late to change now, wasn't it?

So I continued on. I went into labor late in the afternoon on a Thursday. When my husband came home we ate dinner then took a walk in the park. He went to bed around 10, hoping to get at least some sleep. It could be a long night. I tried to sleep but the contractions were getting harder and closer together. About midnight I woke my husband. Time to go to the hospital. After two hours of pushing, our son was born at 8am on Good Friday. The doctor was there for about 15 minutes of the 8 hours I was in the hospital. Just long enough to give me an episiotomy and medication I didn't want. It was clear that the nurses and doctor were in charge.

Two years later I wanted things to be very different. Pregnant and more sure of myself, I went in search of a midwife. I found a birth center with a Certified Nurse Midwife. She spent time with me, answered my questions, talked to me about my pregnancy and my baby, included me in decisions. In labor, she was there with us, guiding me and my husband, supporting. Our daughter was born after a quick labor. We welcomed our baby in our own way, without ever being separated. The midwife stayed and took care of us until we were ready to go home a few hours later. We were in charge of our birth and our baby. The midwife was our lifeguard, helping but not interfering. We had developed a relationship and I trusted her.

Three years later there was no question about my choice of birth attendant. My midwife took special care of us again. My second son was welcomed into a family of a mom, dad, 5 year old brother and 3 year old sister, all in attendance at the birth. I have wonderful pictures of big brother and big sister with their hands caressing their new baby brother, still wet from birth as he lay on my chest. They never expressed any negative feelings about baby brother.

All three births were special in their own way. The midwife births were the most empowering. I felt more supported, prepared and confident. It felt more comfortable to have a care provider who spent more time in a relaxed atmosphere. The safety of a trained professional in a homelike setting was the best option for me. Two of my babies are in college now. My daughter says she wants to have a midwife when she has babies. Smart girl.

Women Have Choices

Each birth and each woman is different. Women deserve to be able to make informed choices regarding one of the most important experiences in their lives, giving birth. It has been said that if you don't know you have choices, then you don't have any.

Some women want every intervention, test and drug available. Others want as little interference as possible in the birthing process. Most women fall somewhere in between. Women need to explore their options and choose the path that fits best for them and their family. It is a process that changes over time. Pregnant women need to know that it is their right to change their mind if what is happening to them doesn't feel right.

The Midwifery model says that pregnancy and birth are normal healthy functions and that support of pregnant women and families includes preventive care. Midwives encourage healthy lifestyle, good nutrition, rest, exercise, stress management, and education about how a woman's body works in childbearing. Midwives support women in their choices surrounding pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, parenting, and family participation. This support empowers women to challenge themselves to go beyond what they thought they could do, be better mothers and partners, and strengthen the family. After an empowering birth it is common for a woman to exclaim triumphantly, "I did it! I did it! Now I feel that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.”